Post with 65 notes
Any kind of photo from sort of pre-1950s completely fascinates me and I have no idea why
Post with 131 notes
The day thick woolly socks were invented is the day civilisation truly began
Post with 121 notes
Sometimes I think about the nature of existence after the death of the universe and my mind basically says “error 404: cannot compute”
Post with 49 notes
I can’t find my christmassy mittens, this is a complete disaster everything is ruined!
Post with 265 notes
Good afternoon I love you all have a pleasant day and don’t let anybody tell you you’re not brilliantly bootylicious
Post with 181 notes
How are sex dolls supposed to help men that are experiencing a lack of intimacy in their lives, surely the realisation that you’re fucking a doll puts your upsetting situation into sharp focus
Post with 200 notes
To deal with my grief I’ve written a short poem:
Ricky rickety rick,
Your wife is dead,
Your baby is dead,
Stop planting vegetables,
Nobody wants your nasty beans.
Post with 216 notes
I have so much work to do but at the same time I could die at any moment and I don’t want to spend my last hours doing work…
Post with 36 notes
COD adverts make it seem really good but what they don’t tell you is that it’s actually really shit
Post with 84 notes
The only thing I dislike about jelly beans is that I can never find the right drink to go with them, they make everything taste weird
Post with 48 notes
I had a burger today that was too good not to have been generated by The Matrix.
Post with 347 notes
So many people give bullshit advice on how to turn your life around like ‘wake up early’ or ‘always think positive’ when really the way to turn your life around is to buy really really comfy pajamas and then never ever ever take them off.
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